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A personal song hoping that others see the spark and brightness in me when I'm singing my songs. I particularly like the lyrics — ‘Can you separate my mess and see the best of me?’ It’s a song about the feeling of being vulnerable when you are truly honest in the act of giving. 

Enlighten me

Ignorance made no difference

You were always your own guide,

Over analysed, it ruined surprise

But the rewards were solely yours.

It’s how it is, how we live, 

hidden truths, we’re always searching for.

Chorus

Would enlighten me,

do you see light in me?

Can you separate my mess 

and see the best of me?

You can have a piece of me, 

You can have a piece of me,

You can have a piece of me,

I would gladly keep some for you

For you, for you, for you..

Some they see vulnerable as weak,

Thankfully you disagree.

Your approach is new, holds a different view,

not always well received.

It’s how it is, how we live, 

hidden truths, we’re always searching for.

Chorus

Would you enlighten me,

Do you see light in me?

Can you separate my mess 

and see the best of me?

I’m sure I would not enjoy the company of anyone who did not experience doubt. However, if you let ‘seeds of doubt’ take hold of your outlook it can be smothering at times, and we can even be quiet cruel to ourselves. This song fights against those feelings and challenges ‘seeds of doubt’ saying ‘I’ll restrain from taking blame; I won’t gather no more for you; No seeds of doubt, you’re not welcome, you’re not allowed’

No Seeds of Doubt

I am cold and confused,

By the words that you choose.

A letter I will write

To remind me of your lies.

I must grow a tougher skin

So you won’t enter me again.

Challenging this needy nature

I must grow stronger from within.

Chorus

I am still breathing, still feeling, believing,

I am still breathing, still feeling, believing,

I am still breathing, still feeling, believing,

I am still breathing, 

So don’t you choose me.

Sometimes you get your way

On these days, you make me pay.

All I see are empty lines, 

empty lines on a page

So I’ll restrain from taking blame,

I won’t gather no more for you.

No seeds, no seeds of doubt,

you’re not welcome, you’re not allowed!

Chorus

Do you hear me? No seeds, no seeds doubt

You’re not welcome, you’re not allowed!

Do you hear me? No seeds, no seeds doubt

You’re not welcome, you’re not allowed!

About the hurt when a relationship is over. When you look back and you know that it was never right yet you could not let go. I loved playing in the studio with David Hornberger on this track. He helped create the sense of helplessness with the gorgeous cello tones throughout the song. He also brought a lovely energy which David Crickmore was able to capture on the track, which I am delighted about.

I saw, they saw

I saw, they saw, you fooled me.

Always trying to please thee.

But when you want it all,

You don’t notice cracks on the wall

With my head bowed down, I can’t look,

Ashamed and so hurt, for all that you took

Chorus

I would swim oceans for

I’d dive into the deep unknown,

I’d tell you all my darkest fears

I’d even bring you all to tears,

Just to feel whole, whole.

I walk around like nothing’s wrong

I smile away, I won’t divulge a sound.

But when I’m locked in my room,

Nastiness seeps from my wounds

With my head bowed down, I can’t look,

Ashamed and so hurt, for all that you took

Chorus

I saw, they saw, you fooled me.

I’m sure every folk singer songwriter starting off has been to those horrendous ‘open mics’ where you think ‘oh, there’s a bit of an audience here’ and quickly come to the realisation that they're only there to support one individual. Once that individual has sung, the chat gets louder and sometimes the audience even leaves. However, every week I continued to find new places to perform, some good some not so good. This song is all about the perils of performing; however, the personal rewards completely overpower the negative views of others and drive you on further.

My Fix

Turn off the lights, I am guilty

As I fall to my knees, Oh I am filthy.

Crawling through Autumn leaves

An act of desperation

But I get no release

Chorus

I will always be the same, always make the same mistakes,

Even when I try to change, 

this need brings me back here again

I am want the same, this need is driving me insane

The longing lights another flame,

This fix is greater than your shame.

I know it well, I messed up again

The wildness in me, won’t let me be

Oh you stand there full, so full of grace

Shouting that my words,

Are a big disgrace

Chorus

Your shame, your shame, your shame, you’re all the same

Your shame, your shame, your shame, 

I will always be such a shame.

But this fix is greater, greater, this fix is greater, greater

This fix is great, greater, 

this fix is greater than your shame Repeat

So whispering sea, feed me my needs

Take all of my goodness and set me free.

I wrote this when I was in back home in Co. Cork, Ireland. It is heavily influenced by Irish folklore and is very much a doomed love song. The word ‘Lir’ means the sea and is about a woman calling out to the god Lir, who took away her lover. She still stands by the shore awaiting her lover’s return.

Lir

Oh lover I am troubled, since your ship sailed away

Tides come in, but you do not follow

Your anchor lays down somewhere else

I stand by this ocean, remembering how I felt

No longer do I live in this present,

My head, my heart, my soul, are in the past.

Chorus

I’m calling out Lir, the god of the sea

I’m telling about my lover and me

I’m pleading to send my message away

In hopes he returns you back one day.

Years go by and I am ageing,

My reflection still shocks me

For in my mind I am youthful

As my desire for you, it still drives me.

They branded me, this mad women,

Who stands alone by this Irish Sea,

Oh they see me, talk to this ocean

But they hear, no they don’t hear, 

the words that I bleed.

Chorus

Oh lover I am troubled, since your ship sailed away

Some people have the power to make ordinary days quite extraordinary. This is a song about a friend that has lost the ‘fire in their belly’, and as a result some of the colour is lost in your day. You wish you could help them find their way, because you realise that without them you are lost too.

Fire in your belly

Forbid, only then I look right up at you

To question the rule’s, you abide from

Say no, then I’ll wonder where to go

A full stop has been placed on all I know

Your acting old, your acting older

Your acting older than your age

Your much to quiet, I know you don’t like it,

So allow me to help you find your way

Chorus

Where’s that fire in your belly?

You brought a flame to ordinary days

Don’t let go, don’t just exist anymore

Your too special to be wasting your time away

Your acting old, your acting older

Your acting older than your age

Your much to quiet, I know you don’t like it,

So allow me to help you find your way

If I helped you find your way

Than dark dulls days would be full of colour

If I helped you find your way

Then dark dulls days would be full of colour

Then we could gather memories

I’m too lonely without thee

So let’s find that fire in your belly you had

And bring back the colour that I crave.

This song is such a hard song to articulate. It’s all about this ‘thing’ that haunts you, pesters you in your sleep; even in consciousness it is there in the back of her mind, nagging at you to pay attention to it! It’s the process of creating. I try to explain the rush of need to complete a song and until it is done this ‘thing/being’ inside you cannot function, cannot focus wholeheartedly on anything else until it is done. The song refers to ‘rant & rave’ because if I was in a glass room whilst involved in the song process I believe my behaviour to the outside world would appear very strange and erratic. It tries to explain how being creative sometimes doesn’t mean you have to invent new ideas or thoughts, sometimes it’s just having the sensitivity to see what is already there. 

Common Ground

You help me fall asleep as I listen to you breathe

Like the waves that come open the shore

And kiss the stones, I wonder do they wish them goodnight?

You said that we’re sensitive, sensitive to what we see

That’s the key to all the notes and all the words

 that surround us to fill our need.

Chorus

You see that hill up there, let’s call that my ‘common ground’

Where I will rant and rave and you won’t judge me till I come down

Sometimes it takes a hold, never leaving me alone

Even in my sub consciousness it directs my dreams

To focus on its feed

Once its fed it’s glorious, makes me feel like I’m alive

Makes me believe that I am part of something pure

This gives me purpose and pride

Chorus repeat

You help me to fall asleep

At times I am greatly saddened by how people deemed a success are very ‘bold’ and ‘cut throat’ and have no problem in telling anyone who will listen how brilliant they are. This is a song about finding your own way in the world. I am creating my own freedom in my world of song. 

Own Freedom

I’m scared you see me when I not here

Only in body with my mind elsewhere

In the honesty between you and I

With all this honesty, why did just lie

No more for me

Chorus

I will make my own freedom

But whom am I running from

I will forge my own kingdom

All rules will come undone to reveal

No more words interrupted by thy

All insane will stake their claim

Where kindness has no shame

I’m scared you’ll see me, not understand

I mean you no harm, please except who I am

In the honesty between you and I

With all this honesty, I no longer want to lie

No more for me

Chorus

I will make my own freedom

But whom am I running from

I will forge my own kingdom

All rules will come undone to reveal

This world is so bigger than thee

All insane will stake their claim

Finally, I will do the same.

This is all for me, oh if you let me. All for me, if you let me - Repeat

Anyone like me who is a bad sleeper will understand how sometimes the night feels never ending and just ‘drags on’. Bedbugs was inspired by someone who knew very well of shadows; yet however always believed in light and better days. I hope she sleeps better now?! 

Bedbugs

Please will you help me fall to sleep

I can’t stop thinking

The night, it drags on

Moonlight it won’t find me

I’m alone in the dark

And the shadows here are nasty

You think with all the stars up above

One might come done and rescue me

Chorus

Awh , oh, oh no

She said you must be stressed

That’s why you are not sleeping

If you speak what’s on your mind

Then your head might rest

So I think I might just of figured this out

I’m going to confront the darkness

And the shadows I will embrace

Then they’ll talk to me, oh If they talk to me

They might just go away

Chorus repeat

So good night, sleep tight

Don’t let the bedbug’s bite

I’ll see you when darkness turns to light